The Stragus Magus Adventure
by Stragusmagus
Summary: An evil monster will destroy the world, but fear not, Stragus and his friends try to save the day. Will they? Are we really safe? Who knows?
1. Chapter 1: Legend Revealed? Pancake Bat...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 ****

The Stragus Magus Adventure

It came from the outer side of the kitchen. It laid on marble rock for almost two centuries, aging in decades and storing the energy from passerby's souls. The door to this device was unsealed; unlocking the very nature of it, concealing a virtual Pandora's box. An old fellow examined the object, carefully eyeing the craftsmanship and pondering its use. Yes, the device is an age-old weapon, used to fight wars never heard of. Its destructive force destroyed both sides of the battle so many centuries ago. As the old man realizes what he has come across, he quickly recalls it use to the best of his knowledge. Using this device he can finally finish the work he has painstakingly started so long ago. He grabs the device puts it in position, and, using the technique he learned as a child, he unlocked the use of this deadly force!

"Hey Relm! Never mind! I found something else to stir the soup with," yells Stragus as he uses an old metal hilt from what looks to have used to be part of a sword. "This will do just fine, although it was hard getting through all of those locks and sacred warnings written in languages I haven't seen since I was a kid." Stragus pondered for a moment, "Perhaps I wrote this as a child. Nah, I would have at least locked some Jello with it, in case I was hungry next time I opened it."

**__**

Chapter 1: Legend Revealed? Pancake Batter.

Relm abruptly walked down into the kitchen in befuddlement. "What are you talking about ya olde fogey? I found your soup spoon weeks ago!" she said.

"Oh Yeah!" Shouted Stragus, "Then where tell-all is this alleged SOUP SPOON, huh? Did it get up and walk away. Oh, maybe it started its own government, for the spoon, by the spoon. Perhaps, by chance, it started a space colony. That's one small scoop for spoon, one giant serving for spoon-kind! It's not a rock band, is it. CAN'T BUY ME SPOOOONN!!!" Stragus banters on about this.

"No you ignoramus!!" Exclaimed Relm, "you're holding it in your OTHER hand."

"Oh," remarked Stragus, "now why would you put it where I wouldn't find it?"

At that moment, Relm wished she had paid attention in school. For all the hoodlely hoo she messed with in school, she may have mastered the art of Blue Magic. However, back when she was 6 and ¾ years old, she came into contact first hand with Blue Magic. Stragus Quasar-ed half the town… for the 3rd time… that day… because of the tree house he was trying to make for Relm. The ensuing Aqua Rakes and Needle forced her to vow, 'As the sun rises each day and sets every night, so will I never learn Blue Magic.' So, in the passing years, Relm chose art as an alternative to pure Blue Magic, as the slightly scorched town of Thamasa was known for. This didn't help her right at this point, because at that very second, Relm's anger rose to a point where she wished she had mastered Blue Magic just for this opportunity to nuke Stragus for making this and any other comment in the near future. "Any chance that the Sun won't set tonight," Relm asked in almost a melancholy tone, for she knew the answer.

"Well, you know Relm," Stragus answered, "Its like I always say, _send the pancake batter to me_."

"What are you talking about? I've never heard you say that." Inquired Relm.

"Sure I do. I just wanted some pancake batter." Stragus answered.

Relm, annoyed, said, "What has that got to do with anything, and what pancake batter are you talking about?"

"Well," said Stragus, "I was speaking in general."


	2. Chapter 2 : My Secret Vow. Shovel Dirt.

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 2 : My Secret Vow. Shovel Dirt.

In the farthest reach of our galaxy, a meeting of the greatest scientific minds were presenting the lump sum of works that had been accomplished in their fields. One scientist discovered the cure of apothropolunderblunderepriciliosus complex number 324 disease. Another found some new propulsion for space travel using space-folding technique. However, in the midst of it all in the grand conference room, all that was heard from there was laughter. There was laughter at the man who was presenting a most ludicrous thesis about his experiments with the space-time continuum.

"I'm telling you it can be done, " exclaimed the man from the podium, "You are just not listening to the facts of the matter."

"Well now," said a man, standing in his place, "I see that you have cost us a great deal of funds dealing with this research. So far you have a non-working model and pages of theory that any 4th grader in half a mind can think of within the allotted naptime. Now listen here Manami…"

"But Sir Gunkhop," said Manami, "if you would just give me more time…"

"You have been given time enough!" Boweled another man. Oddly enough, if you translate his name into something pronounceable in English, you get something that sounds like toupee. "I will not let this man conduct ANYTHING further if he had not brought back a return by now. Its best to give his funds to someone more promising."

"It has been decided," stated The Master, "it gives me great sadness to have to pull you out of the scientific society, but I have no choice, given the congressional votes."

"I WILL SHOW YOU ALL!" Stormed Manami, never to be seen until 40 years later.

In another hall someone was given a speech on a familiar planet across the galaxy.

"So, as I move on," stated the speaker, "by our findings it is clear that this species has developed the great magic force inscribed by that planet. The levels of ki energy forces are tremendous in this quadrant, it no wonder they discovered it so soon."

"Excuse me sir, " stated a student, who wanted to get his participation points in by asking a question for a class that he was taking on the subject.

"No Daichi!" Said the speaker, "I am not going to tie your shoelaces, again!" In this area of the galaxy, it was common practice, and just plain good manners, to never tie your own shoe laces in public. In the old days of kings and emperors, the act of tying your own shoelaces was an insult, and was taken as a challenge of authority.

"No sir, " said the scared little student, "I just wanted to know what planet is this study on again."

"The planet?" Asked the speaker, "I believe it was the planet…"


	3. Chapter 3 : The evil awakens. My butter ...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 3 : The evil awakens. My butter knife named Spot.

"Dirt, Gungho!" Said Stragus loudly; "You're not shoveling that dirt right."

"Yeah, but Stragus, "answered Gungho, "I'm not shoveling dirt, I'm playing golf."

"Well, " said Stragus, " looks about the same to me. You don't seem to be having much luck. Here, help me get this thing plugged in."

"What is this?" asked Gungho as Stragus powered a square box with a curved-glass side facing them, side control switches for frequency, and two vertically angled metallic lines running upward.

"This, my dear friend, " Stragus said energetically, " this is the answer to all those late nights with nothing to do. I'm thinking of calling it television or kenny, I haven't decided."

"That's a weird name, " said Gungho.

"Yeah, "Stragus said, "I mean, I don't know where I got the idea of calling it television, I mean, what WAS I thinking?" Gungho looked puzzled, but no more than usual.

But little did Thamasa's number one golf king and town tested and verified destruct-ologist knew was that in the nearby mountain ranges, lived a creature. That creature was an owl, but that's not important right now. What was important was the dormant evil creature directly below the owl, inside the mountain. A demon, a puzzled-consuming demon was awakened after years of taking in puzzled energy and puzzling looks energy. Long ago, during the years of the Magi-wars, a creature began using the puzzled minds of Blue Mages in training as a source of energy. Later, this was found out, after those students graduated and were no longer confused on the basics of Blue Magery. The creature was sealed, as best as could have been, and left until it consumed enough puzzled waves to awaken again. For the old Thamasians knew that one-day it would come out again, and that was today.

Upon the uproar of the creature, it busted out of the mountain, severely hurting a nearby panther that fell 200 feet on top of an owl. The owl upon knowing that its death was eminent, thought to itself, "Could have been worse. I could have caught apothropolunderblunderepriciliosus complex number 324 disease. I hope someday they find a cure for that."

The evil demon creature grew stronger looking for a target to destroy. It tried looking for the town called Thamasa, although it was not there when it arrived. Some scorched buildings remained, and one sign that read "Town 404 error. Town does not exist or was moved. Please refer to www.thamasa.com for details". Upon looking beyond the sign, the creature noticed that town moved 1 mile east because of some Grand Train problem. It remembered the spell very clearly.

At this time Stragus was trying to pitch his "mobile web" idea to the mayor, who by chance doesn't know a thing about what Stragus EVER says, however, is too often swayed by him to even notice that this idea may be a little too early.

"Its like I say Mayor Charge, " Pitched Stragus, "everyone will be able to access local and external data request packets over the same LAN, without the need to upgrade existing systems. Or lack thereof. "

"I like it, "exclaimed Mayor Charge, "We'll get on it as soon as that other idea goes through of yours. What was it? Something about a kenny broadcasting station? Will that really work?"

"Sure Mayor," Stragus answered, "I'd bet my butterknife named spat on it."

"Spat? " Asked Mayor Charge. "That's an unusual name for a butterknife." As if it wasn't odd to name a butterknife, let alone carry a supply of them around all the time.

"Well," thought Stragus, "It's not as easy to name a butterknife than an invention, or maybe a chapter title".


	4. Chapter 4 : The memory remains. We’ll m...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 4 : The memory remains. We'll miss the game shows.

Many things have happened in the farthest reaches of our galaxy since Manami exited the conference abruptly, spilling his day old coffee cup on the ground. This in turn caused a janitor to stay longer on the job that night after everyone left. Interestingly enough, the janitor went to a late night astro-bar where he met a most interestingly lady who liked cotton towels. Elated, the towel-loving janitor expressed his love for the same articles of sheep fur. Three years later they were married and united as Mr. and Mrs. Ainoyu. They grew up in a happy, loving atmosphere of two daughters and a son. The son was the youngest, and consequently, the subject of the next 30 years of discussion. They chose the name Duu, because of a family history of that name, however in the end it turns out the father chose it from the back of a cereal box. Duu graduated from the finest university in his quadrant with honors, and was immediately appointed chief officer of Time and Sub Spatial Law Enforcement (TASSLE). Among his top ten list of fugitives included Blaf Grauda (ancient dimension hopper), Twink Finklemen (time traveling murderer), and Manami Kantusee. Manami in the next 40 years developed the Time Traveling device to which his thesis was about back in the science convention of commdate 45609. He was sponsored by Twink himself, who thought it would be "pretty cool" to kill people before they were born. Apparently, homicide lost its charm in his own time, so effectively with time travel he could conceivably kill someone over and over again by going back one day every time he killed him. Manami had the advantage here, because the prototype that he gave to Twink was a cleverly concealed bomb that detonated on first use, and then took all of his money afterward by going back in time to the bank and cashing the same check over and over again.

So, Manami built his empire on one check, and oddly enough, and was the prime suspect in every TASSLE meeting, and Duu Ainoyu made it a personal objective to catch this man. Oddly enough again, for if it weren't for him, he would not exist. It wasn't until 5 years later that Duu finally was rid of him.

The fleet of TASSLE flies in on planet SEPAEHTFO, where, after a hot tip on a stellar pay phone, it was discovered that Manami's secret base was hidden there.

"Open a channel to our friend, " Duu commands. Duu was in command of the entire fleet of spatial ships. It was the only fleet that could track and follow Duu's time ship.

"I'm not answering any hails, " Manami answered, "I'm busy trying to get away."

"We can't let you do that, " Duu states, "for all we know, your next target may render us non-existent in this time period."

"You'll just have to TRUST me." Manami answers laughingly.

"I'm sorry, " Duu replys, "in all the wonders of this universe there exists a chance. A possibility no matter how small. The opportunity given to us as living creatures in this vast universe. You deny the most basic fact in this or any other lifetime, but only if you go through with eliminating us. One thing you will regret"

"What in Optimus's small energetic spark are you talking about?" Asked Manami.

Duu answered, "We'll miss all the game shows. Fleet ready…. FIRE!!"

In a stroke of light, the Duu three main ships equipped with protoplasmic dilation weaponry fired all at once, causing the largest chain reaction of events to partake. The sole purpose of these weapons was in fact to destroy the planet that Manami was on. However, these weapons were made to set its firing range to exist outside of space-time, and effectively, the main blast of the energy cannon was to hit the target before the shot was even fired. However, Manami's escape ship had a similar system in case of such a disaster, so that he could escape before the button was pushed to execute the time travel. However, the instruments were so timed in sequence that the planet was destroyed in the process, and Manami's ship was damaged before the time sequenced started. In the end, Manami was killed inside the time ship, and was sent to a different space and time altogether. The exact spot was 1 mile east of the future site that a town called Thamasa was to be built in 100 years.

The explosion also caused three men sitting in a bar halfway across the universe to think of the mass to energy equation that would one day help them build a nuclear bomb, caused a nearby planet to lose all dolphin-like creatures that had 27 fins, and on the planet earth, it gave an evil demon creature super powers.


	5. Chapter 5 : The evil erupts. No need fo...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 5 : The evil erupts. No need for Omega weapon.

The evil demon creature, now known as Ka zi lao Wang, began his revenge attack on Thamasa. He was given stronger powers now, and was a formidable enemy. Meanwhile, across town in city hall, Stragus was leaving with one of his kenny viewing devices, trying to explain to Gungho why this was so important.

"It'll revolutionize the way we think, " explained Stragus.

Gungho answered, "Well if that's your idea of thinking, then your way farther gone than I had originally thought."

As they argued over simple things like why Stragus always Grand Trains Gungho's golf balls just before they make a hole-in-one and where Stragus comes up with all these ideas all of a sudden, the evil demon, Ka zi lao Wang, nukes the building right beside Stragus and Gungho. Stragus's broadcast receiver died in the process and the blast pushed both of them over. Stragus gets up and notices the evil demon and that he just destroyed his invention.

Stragus's anger rose, "Oh my God! You killed kenny!"

Gungho, lost in the moment and pointing at the evil demon, yelled, "You BASTARD!"

"Ha! "Ka zi lao said defiantly, "I, Ka zi lao, will destroy this town that sealed me all those many years ago, and you will submit to my will or die."

"Hmm, " Gungho thought out loud, "not many choices there. Death or submitting to an evil demon."

"Hey," Stragus said with a smirk, "Submission works for me!" Gungho, at this point, if he were an anime character, would have Super-Deformed terribly and fell over, but since he wasn't, he just fell over.

"Stragus! Come on," said Gungho, "we can take this guy. But we should try to get far away from town for safety."

"What are you talking about?" Stragus asked. "We won't let the town be beaten by this guy."

Gungho replied, "its not him I'm worried will destroy this town. Remember the four horsemen incident 10 years ago? The town was so badly nuked it wasn't worth it to rebuild, so we had to move it a mile east."

"That donut-snatching man was asking for it," Stragus said with an attitude, "But anyway, let's get this guy!"

Gungho got out his best 5-iron and began chucking golf balls at him. Startled by his lack of doing any significant damage, Gungho chose an alternative method.

"Stragus," Gungho said, "You take him, and.. uh… take no prisoners."

"LET'S GET IT ON!" Stragus exclaimed as Gungho ran past him in retreat mode, along with the rest of the town. Well, lets just say the townsfolk weren't going to miss the town much, as long as the demon was gone.

Stragus got out his butterknives and assumed attack formation. Ka zi lao used a powerful ki blast and knocked the butterknives out of Stragus's hands and into the next zip code, which Stragus put in place so his telephony idea would kick off better. At this point Stragus almost gave up, but he knew he wasn't licked yet. He didn't know if this guy had tongue anyway. Stragus quickly searched his slightly charred clothes for something he can use as a weapon. Ka zi lao came ever closer and Stragus, lying on the ground, could find nothing but Jello in his pockets, but then Stragus remembered he stuck his soup spoon in his back pocket earlier last week when Relm refused to get him pancake batter. It was quite fortunate for Stragus, because his soupspoon was none other than Omega weapon. This ancient weapon was created for channeling the energy of gelatinous afternoon snacks into a weapon of formidable power. Stragus was loaded on the stuff.

"Take THIS, OLD MAN!" Stragus yells as the energy of consumed afternoon snacks formed a sword of purely plasmatic-based energy. The shock wave pushed Ka zi lao across some distance. The weapon was designed for a specific energy output given the average amount of Jello contained on any one person. However, Stragus was more than maxed out twice over on that energy level.

"I can take you on!" Stragus exclaims.

"I'd like to see you try," Ka zi lao said angrily.

Stragus, lost in the moment of Megalomaniac energy levels, went totally into Super Blue Mage form, which was something not unlike Super Saiyan Level 4. Ka zi lao, still not at all scared of this power, launches an all out attack. Stragus retaliates with the only attack he could think of.

"Jello sword ATTACK!" Stragus warcries, and the energy buildup peaked with Ka zi lao and Stragus launching both attacks at the same time. No one expected to come back to a town, in general, however, the clash of energy at that point didn't even leave LAND for the town to rebuild on. The attack was the equivalent of Stragus casting 500 Grand Trains simultaneously at one point. The moon was pushed 2 miles farther from the Earth.


	6. Chapter 6 : Ka zi lao reawakens. Jello t...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 6 : Ka zi lao reawakens. Jello to go.

Stragus awakens from a horrible nightmare. A world without Jello was not fun in his book. He sees nurses administrating to his needs. The sky is an orange-red, and an evil presence everywhere.

"So… What happened?" Asked Stragus.

"Well," Gungho spoke coming up from a lower deck. Stragus discovers that he is on an airship, "From what we pieced together. You had a deadly apocalyptic weapon, God help us, on you and you attempted an all out attack against that Ka zi lao guy."

"Yup, "Stragus said with a less than humble tone,"I told you guys to leave everything to me."

"But…" said Gungho.

"But?" Stragus was startled, "but what? He's gone, right? That move would have taken out 2 towers of Babel with energy to spare!"

"We underestimated him slightly," Gungho said optimistically, "he was only mostly defeated. We thought he was gone, but he reappeared with half his power, although he's probably restoring as we speak. We're gonna have to ask you to try that attack again."

"Ok," Stragus answered, "What's plan B?"

"There is no plan B," Gungho answered, "This is the only thing we got left. None of us could have even imagining coming close to what you pulled out there."

"Let's not get technical now," said Stragus, "I have a plan, but we need to get back to Thamasa. Everything will be all just fine if we get back to Thamasa. You can bet your bottom dollar that…."

"Stragus!" Gungho blurted, "You wiped out the entire peninsula that Thamasa was ON. There is no Thamasa anymore."

Much could have been said about Stragus's thought processes at that moment. He could have been theorizing of the creation of the universe. There's a possibility that he may have been hammering out the fine details of his 'plan' as they spoke. Unfortunately, Stragus was only in one mode at that very moment-PANIC. He had no idea Thamasa was gone, and now any idea revolving around digging up ancient relics that are probably somehow or other buried underneath Stragus's house were out of the question.

"We can still go there, " Stragus said, although he knew he was absolutely clueless as to what to do, but he wasn't just going to take this sitting down, "I'm not just going to take this sitting down!"

"I hope not," Setzer called. Now Setzer has been doing a lot lately in his recent Air Casinos Inc. Mostly in the order of 3.2 million in revenue. Setzer was casually on his way home one day when he registered a large explosion. After finding out it was in fact, Stragus, he helped the townspeople of Thamasa off the ground. Since that was the very area of destruction. Setzer sometimes misses the good old days of adventure and magic, and tree dwelling dinosaurs. And just in case Setzer ever saw Stragus again, he packed an unnailed crate of Jello in the storage bay. Setzer knew something was up, so he came down to the area where the others were. "We just painted the chairs, you'd get all messy, " Setzer declared.

"Setzer!" Said Stragus, "We need to go to the location where Thamasa once was."

"Why?" Asked Setzer, "The only thing you can blow up there now is H2O."

"Yes, I know that," Stragus answered, "But… really? I can blow up the water?"

"Good job Setzer, " replied Gungho, "Now you've done it."

Setzer took the airship to about where Thamasa was.

"Can't you get any more precise than this, "asked Stragus.

"Well I could, " Setzer replied, "But I can't since there used to be a guiding mountain range right here to let me know how far it was to Thamasa."  
"Can't argue with that," said Stragus, "but I can still Grand Train! GRAND TRAIN!"

Immediately Stragus cast Grand Train on the top deck of Setzer's airship. Damage was pretty minimal on the ship, only the side railing of the starboard bow was incinerated. Although, this was a good thing now, because the Grand Train continued all the way to the ocean below them, and somehow exploded at the right instant to uncover Stragus's house from under the sea.

A now slightly scorched Gungho said, "Look, its Stragus's House. Hey, Stragus why is the water staying all around and not getting to your house."

And in a moment of truth Stragus answered, "Its probably scared."

Stragus and Gungho climbed down a rope ladder to get to the house. Inside, everything was intact as if nothing happened. Gungho looks out the window and is startled by the closeness of the 20-foot wall of water surrounding the house.

"Somehow I don't feel really safe," Gungho said.

"Its all part of life," said Stragus, "Come on the basement is over here."

Setzer came down and joined in on all the excitement.

"Why do you have that doorway blocked?" asked Gungho.

"Oh that?" Stragus asked, "It was the gate to Hades, but I blocked it off because Death kept cheating at poker. But that's not my plan."

Stragus showed them the other side of the wall where, of all things, the entrance way to a spaceship buried underneath Stragus's house was located. The ship appeared to be of ancient origin. And somehow the dead, stiff corpse in the pilot seat with his right index finger almost touching a red button on the control panel somehow reaffirmed that suspicion.

"Poor guy," stated Stragus, "must've caught apothropolunderblunderepriciliosus complex number 324 disease. Man, they should have a cure for that thing by now."

Stragus then explained to Gungho and Setzer that he had been talking with the ships main computer for the past 6 months now, learning a great deal of the technological advances made in each era of the planet of the ships origin.

"So that's where all those moronic ideas came from," stated Gungho.

"Wow," Setzer said, surprised. "So that article you wrote in the Narshe Gazette on electric gambling machines is a reality?"

"You bet your boxcars," Stragus answered. Stragus explained that he was able to forward fast into the ships most recent entries, where the plans for a time machine were located. And that this ship had a built in Time Machine device. So, the plan was contrived. Stragus was to get loaded on Jello, the three of them would then travel back in time to the era when the evil demon first appeared. The thought was that the demon would not be as strong in the past than in the present. The three courageous adventures went back up to the surface to get the crate of Jello for Stragus to consume. As soon as Setzer started climbing up the ladder, Ka zi lao appeared next to the airship, and with no effort at all, destroyed it without warning. Setzer fell the 5 feet he climbed on top of Gungho.

"Hey guys, " Stragus said, "I think it would be a good idea if we just got that Jello to go."

Ka zi lao saw them and began to power an attack. Stragus, Gungho, and Setzer all ran down to the ship and activated the Time Controls.

"Does this work?" Asked Setzer.

"That WOULD be good to know, wouldn't it?" replied Stragus as he pressed the last sequence of keys.


	7. Chapter 7 : Plan for attack. I can see m...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 7 : Plan for attack. I can see my house from here…

Stragus was in the middle of a forest. He didn't know which one, and quite frankly, he didn't know where the freakin' crow he was! He thought long and hard about this one. He didn't remember how he got here, or why there were so many apple trees, or why no one was with him.

"I must be in Ohio," Stragus blurted. "Or…dead. It's hard to say. 

Just then Stragus felt a presence. He's felt this one before. It was evil and had tendency to destroy kennys.

"Oh no!" Exclaimed Stragus, "I'm up the creek, and not ready. Wait, that didn't come out right."

At that moment Ka zi lao appeared in front of Stragus to his amazement. Although, it appeared that his power levels still far exceeded Stragus's attacks.

"I remember now," said Stragus, "I came back in time to fight this guy, but he's still strong. Why!? Who cares, GRAND TRAIN!!"

Gungho and Setzer were trying to find a suitable landing area and found one a good distance away, so as not to incur the time directives to come after them. Stragus was in a chair sleeping restlessly. Saying all sorts of nonsense, which wasn't much different to when he was awake.

"He's starting to say stuff again," Said Setzer, "I think he mentioned the greek."

"The greek?" Asked Gungho, "What's so great about them? Oh well, hey lets get some fresh air. This ship smells like something died in it."

"Something DID die in it, remember?" Declared Setzer, "You jettisoned the poor corpse out the cargo area while we were sifting through time-space."

"Well, excuse me if I don't have any air fresheners or OTHER ideas," said Gungho.

Gungho and Setzer went outside while pushing Stragus in his chair.

"I'm sure some fresh air will get him up," stated Gungho. "The thrill of the kill will get him going."

"I think you're right, Gungho," said Setzer, "I can hear him doing that chant thing he does right before he casts a spell."

"You heard what?" Asked Gungho.

"That thing he says right before he casts a spell, why?" Questioned Setzer.

"I think we better run… really fast… right now," said Gungho with a scared tone.

Stragus, still asleep, started moving his hands about, when at the end he said, "grand train". From that point, their ship became the not-so-hidden-ship-in-a-forest that had a magical beacon that yelled out COME GET ME. Let's not forget that this time line is also in the middle of the Magi Wars. Mages, wizards, and espers alike are battling for control. So, needless to say, Stragus's little mishap didn't go unnoticed. 

Luckily for them, it was a dense fog in most of the nearby cities, so most regular people never noticed (at least for now), however a dragon hovering above did notice. However, it was glad because the light coming from the spell allowed him to switch course because (of the fog) he was going the wrong direction anyway.

"Wow," Said the Dragon, "I can see my house from here."

Stragus' dream started getting weird, cause he just fired a Grand Train but he didn't' feel the usual bits of destruction that came after. He thought a lot about this.

Stragus then realized, "I really must be in Ohio!"

Stragus woke up to the seeing eyes of Setzer and Gungho who weren't too happy about this situation.

"Stragus," said Gungho, "What were you dreaming about?"

"I don't know," He answered, "It went all boom before I knew it."

"But that's how all situations are to you!" Declared Gungho.

"Okay, guys," said Setzer, "we're on a mission, remember? Let's keep on task so we can get out of here. There's no telling what kind of damage we can do in the past."

"That's true," said Stragus, "In the past, there's stuff here that I blew up already that I can blow up again."

"That's not what I meant," said Setzer. "Listen, first we got to find a way to acquire or make some sort of gelatinous afternoon snacks-like substance for Stragus, then we need to track down Ka zi lao and defeat him without causing too much damage."

"Easier said than done," replied Gungho, "our Jello inhaler here most likely will over do it. We may be better off luring him off to some place remote and then get him."

"Good idea," said Setzer, "we may have to go to town."

"Right," agreed Gungho, "I'll muster up some courage."

"Good." Said Setzer, "I'll get a heart."

"…And I'll get some Jello," said Stragus.

All Three replied, "We're off to see Thamasa, the wonderful Thamasa of magic…"


	8. Chapter 8 : What plan? Never leave home...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 8 : What plan? Never leave home without it…

Thamasa's main troops were pushed back by today's battle. Bahamut found its way to Thamasa, surprising everyone and causing heavy losses. In this time, Ka zi lao hid himself as a human, collecting enough puzzle energy for his final form. Much was amiss at this time. The Magi Wars were no laughing matter. Magitek wielding humans were trying to acquire more magic espers, who were fighting humans, but usually on the side of the magic wielding humans, the Mage Knights. However, a few espers came to form yet a third side, against ALL humans, which included some powerful ones, like Bahamut. This new threat was a problem, a big problem.

"We've received intelligence reports, sir." Said the right hand to the commander of the main Thamasa army, Valeous Starchaser, "Espers are dividing and taking sides of their own. You know what that means."

"Yes," said Commander Gaav, "Our worst fears have been realized. This new threat is a problem."

"A big problem," responded Valeous.

Just then a group of suspicious looking characters arrived in town, arguing about whose nose was full of straw, made of metal, etc. One of them was tall white-haired man with the strangest of really shiny clothes, another man, apparently a local, had a large bag of wooden and metal rods, but the third was an old, apparently established wizard with the oddest expressions of them all.

"Okay," said Gungho, "now I don't think it would be best if we yelled out to everyone that we were from the future."

"Right," said Setzer, "I don't think these simple folk would understand."

"Well actually," Stragus said.

"I don't want to hear it," said Gungho.

"But if you just…" said Stragus.  
"I told you I don't want to hear… what!?" Exclaimed Gungho.

Before their very eyes was Thamasa, but not what they thought. What they saw was a technological paradise, hover cars floating around, buildings 20 or 30 stories high, and even an Airship Port. Kids on the street with their handheld gaming devices, playing the latest version of EsperMon, where you 'Must Acquire All the Individual Monstrous Opponents'. However it seemed that it was THEY who looked like the simple folk in this timeline.

"Come to think of it," Gungho thought, "I do remember that after the Magi Wars, much of the technological know-how was destroyed and the human race was set back to start over. But I had no idea they were this advanced."

"Who knew the past would be so full of the future more than the future did in going back into the past," Said Stragus.

"This is great," said Setzer. "These people will understand us. If they're this advanced, all we have to do is tell them our story and their bound to listen to reason."

The loud clang of a jail cell quickly brought their spirits down, as they were sent for having parked a high-energy vehicle in a nearby no high-energy vehicle zone.

"Or not," said Setzer with the hands clung to the bars.

"Okay," said Gungho, "new plan! Stragus, we need to bust out of here."

"Hey," answered Stragus, "No problemo. I'll just whip out my trusty soup spoon and…"

"Wait," yelled Gungho, "NOT THAT!"

Just when the commotion started, the on duty guard, who happens to be named Zeldman Charge, got a good look at the sword that Stragus was trying to use. To his knowledge, the sword contained the royal triangular seal of the ruling family of the kingdom of Thamasa. There are only 3 possible ways that Stragus could have a sword of the royal family, one is that his outrageous story is true, two is that he is a royal family member, or three, he took the sword after killing a member of the royal family. Since all the members of the royal family were in home port the guard knew this person had to be a member of the royal family.

"AHH!" Screamed the guard named Charge, "We've jailed a royal family member!"

Stragus, Gungho, and Setzer quickly stopped in mid fight.

"The royal seal is on their sword," he continued.

"We did what?" Asked another guard.

"We don't make mistakes." Stated another.

"This could be trouble," said another.

"I don't want to club a seal!" Said yet another one in the background.

Gungho quickly snatched Stragus's sword.

"Yes!" Gungho said loudly. "My companion here is a member of the royal family."

"I am?" Asked Stragus.

"Oh, I get it," said Setzer, "Yeah, uh… We were… yeah, just on our way to the palace when our Chocobos…"

"What palace?" Asked Stragus wondering.

"Chocobos?" Asked a Guard, "What's a Chocobos? That's a strange name for a ship."

Setzer didn't know that they didn't have Chocobos. Maybe Setzer has been hanging around Stragus too much, or maybe he doesn't work well under pressure, but in any case, he decided to play along. "Yeah, that's the name of our ship. The Chocobo."

"What's my sword? And what am I?" Asked Stragus again.

"Well, in any case," stated the main guard, "we better take you to the palace. I'm sure the king is waiting for this man here."

"What king?" Asked Stragus annoyed that no one's listening to him.

"Yes," Gungho whispered to Setzer, "Stragus finally did something right. Never leave home without it."

"What did I bring? I'm so confused!" Stragus cried.

"Oh and by the way," Setzer continued talking to the guard, "Make sure our ship gets to a good hanger and…"

Gungho finished, "and have it detailed. I wanna see my smile on those… um… sides."

"Yes, sir," said the guards.

"Am I the only one whose wondering about all this?" Asked Stragus.

"Oh," said Gungho startled, "I'm sorry Stragus, did you say something?"

A little more than annoyed, Stragus said, "Just one word, Quasar…"


	9. Chapter 9 : Found the demon! He’s it! H...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 9 : Found the demon! He's it! He's it!

"Well," stated King Vaygus, "You must be a royal family member since you have the ability to cast spells from the Book of Claire. I mean, really, it's quite impressive."

"How so?" Asked Gungho.

"You see," continued the King, "it seems your friend Stragus here can cast even the most powerful of spells, which only a select few of even the royal family are able."

"What does that make me?" Asked Stragus.

"That's a very good question," Said the King, "We'll run a complete genetic test to recombinant some DNA and use a regressionary analysis to determine if you have the royal blood. It's a quite involved process."

"Sounds exciting," Gungho said not very energetically.

"How long does something like that take?" Asked Setzer.

"Well," said the King, "It can take…"

"Days?" Asked Gungho.

"Weeks?" Asked Setzer.

"Five seconds? We're kinda in a hurry." Said Stragus.

"Stragus," answered Gungho, "You heard the King, it's a very involved process and…"

"Well, actually," said the King, "That is absolutely correct. TELL HIM WHAT HE'S WON, JOHNNY!"

At that moment all logic in the place began to fall. The throne room magically transformed into a game show room, with Stragus in the hot seat. Gungho and Setzer found themselves as the only audience members.

"Well King Vaygus," stated an unknown announcer voice, thought of to be Johnny, "For answering the King's question correctly, proving to have cast a spell of the Book of Claire, and wielding most of a sword of the royal family. Stragus, you will a free trial of the Mark VI scanner!"

'Oohs' and 'Ahhs' came from the direction of the audience, although Gungho and Setzer were the only ones in the seats. 

"The Mark VI scanner," Johnny the announcer continued, "will tell us for certain, whether Stragus here is a member of the royal family!!! And now, back to you King Vaygus."

The royal throne room mysteriously changed back into a throne room as mysteriously as it had transformed in the first place.

"That was weird," said Setzer.

"Somehow," stated Gungho, "I should have expected this all along."

"Well, Stragus," said the King, "According to these readings, you have the royal blood of our family. Hoorah! You know what that means. Party Time!"

"Uh oh," said Gungho, "here we go again."

The throne room, just as mysteriously as is changed from throne rooms to game show, changed from throne room to dining hall with DJ. But Stragus smelled a familiar smell. It was JELLO! Sitting on the smorgasbord table was the biggest, next to Stragus's house, collection of Jello you had ever seen.

"Well," said Gungho, "that's one less thing to worry about getting. Now if we only can find the monster."

"I'm sure he'll turn up soon," Setzer replied.

Little did our gambling airship entrepreneur know, was that Ka zi lao was with them in the palace the whole time. Ka zi lao had gotten a job at the castle as a therapeutic healer under the name Lao Showron. He was taking all the puzzled energy he could from his clients, as most of them were suffering from stress. This whole time he had been targeting Stragus, Gungho, and Setzer because this whole day had been nothing but craziness and confusion for all of them. Ka zi lao had been draining the puzzled energy from them the whole day, and now he had consumed more than enough to begin his plan. Having access to the palace in this time, he found where the Omega Weapon was and edited it into his plans, because until now, the king had this weapon guarded very closely, but because of these visitors, his guard was down. This was the perfect time, while they were having fun, to destroy them all. He had picked the perfect time, right after the hokey pokey but before the macarena he hated that song, to strike.

"Yo! Yo!" Screamed the DJ, "Now its time for everyone's favorite musical number..."

"Except MINE!" Yelled a loud, demonic voice from beyond the doorway, "I loathe that song."

"Get a grip, Showron", said King Vaygus, "Its not like it's the theme to that show Card Acquirers."

"They didn't even dub the title correctly on that show, but anyway. King Vaygus!" Said Ka zi lao, continuing in the proper demonic voice, "I have been playing you the whole time."

"So you're my anonymous chess-by-mail friend?" Asked the King.

"Well," Ka zi lao thought, "actually… yes. But that's NOT what I'm talking about!"

Ka zi lao decided at this point that talk is cheap, or at the very least, marked in the flea market discount aisles. So destroying them now will save him a lot of time and paperwork involved when taking over the world.

"Feel my wrath!" Yelled out the demon as he quickly changed into his final form and powered an incredible attack.

"Stragus!" Panicked Gungho, "We need some help over here!"

"No problem," said Stragus.

Stragus had this demon's number, and it was zero. He knew that if he countered with a Grand Train he would push the enemy far enough out of the town's way. And from an earlier close inspection, Stragus realized, and didn't tell anyone, that the material used in building the castle was magic based and was sturdy enough to take a single Grand Train hit. It would never hold up to two grand train hits, but there was, fortunately, only one Stragus.

"Grand Train… Train… Train!"

Stragus casted Grand Train, however, at the same time, Stragus also heard King Vaygus cast the same spell. Oh boy, thought Stragus in the split second he had to think of a way out of this mess. The worst part was yet to come, because Stragus also saw Valeous cast Grand Train as well. Well, this place may be destroyed, and a great portion of the vicinity, but Stragus knew that Ka zi lao wasn't getting away. Besides that, he was tagged three times; he's it!


	10. Chapter 10 : Is he gone? Behold the powe...

The Stragus Magus Adventure Vol 1 **__**

Chapter 10 : Is he gone? Behold the power of Jello.

"Good thing I stocked up on Jello right before this," Stragus thought to himself. "It would be bad not to go out full of it."

A slight rumble of rocks near Stragus prompted him to look in that direction. 

"I'll tell you what your full of!" Bellowed a familiar Thamasa champion golf master's voice, "Why did you do that!? You could have killed us! And you destroyed the palace."

"It wasn't all me," said Stragus, "the King-dude and the other royal-guy casted Grand Train at the same time. They must have felt his energy presence as well."

"Energy presence?" Asked Gungho, "Are you saying you knew he was here the whole time?"

"Oh yea, sure," said Stragus nonchalantly.

Setzer appears out of the rubble. "Why didn't you tell us?" Asked Setzer.

"Well, the King knew about it too," explained Stragus, "I guess he knew what he was doing."

"Actually," said the King lifting himself out of the rubble as well, "I just hired him because our palace is an equal opportunity employer."

"Its all part of the system," said Valeous, seemingly unharmed on one side.

"Is he gone, two-face?" Asked Stragus.

"That's Valeous! Valeous Starchaser."

"Whatever." Said Stragus.

"Well," Valeous thought, "its tough to say what happened, because I was never sure how powerful he really was. But I'm sure most demons would have been destroyed by that."

"Don't count me out yet," bellowed one Ka zi lao as he appeared before them. "It may have destroyed me, if I still had apothropolunderblunderepriciliosus complex number 324 disease. But since there is now a cure, and I have the King's Omega weapon, I have enough to destroy all of you. It would take 501 Grand Trains simultaneously to defeat me."

"Okay," Stragus said, as if he had a brilliantly conceived plan to destroy him, "I wish I had a brilliantly conceived plan to destroy him!"

"What do you mean," asked Gungho, "What about your Jello Sword?"

"Its not powerful enough," explained Stragus, "He not as powerful as in the future, but just enough to survive a full blast."

"That's no problem," said Valeous.

"Its not?" Asked everyone else.

Valeous continued, "There were two Omega weapons created, and one was sealed within the palace."

"And he has it," interrupted Gungho.

"True," Valeous continued, "But the other is with me."

Valeous pulls out the second Omega weapon. It shined like the sun, and it was passed sunset. Now the plan was brilliant.

"Perfecto!" Yelled Stragus. "Gungho, you know what to do."

"Right," Gungho agreed. "Everybody, RUN!!!"

"UH…" interrupted Ka zi lao, "I'm still in this story, right?"

"That's more information than we need," answered Stragus, the town teleporting in the background.

"Ready Valeous?" asked Stragus.

"You got it!" answered Valeous.

"Double…"

"Jello Sword…"

"ATTACK!!!

Yet again, much could be expected of this moment as a large-scale war. The combined forces of Stragus and Valeous was about twice the power minus one too many. The explosion ripped the fabric of space-time itself, which was probably a good thing, for without that, the future could not have felt the effects of the changing time line in the past. Although no one knew, no one seemed to care. All they wanted was this demon gone, which did happen. Later there would be much rejoicing and eating of Jello. But in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, there was a lot of cleaning up going on. TASSLE and Duu Ainoyu were fixing all the temporal incursions that were a result of Manami's evil work. They finally got to the point where they can recover the ship that caused all this mess. Although they did not find it where the instruments had originally expected it, they adjusted it about a thousand year's back. Duu himself was conducting the survey of the area at Thamasa.

"This place is a mess," understated Duu, "We'll have to find the parties involved and find out the damage."

"There right here sir," said Peon.

"That was fast," said Duu, "How'd you do that?"

"They were in the center of the crater sir, and they're still alive." Answered Peon.

"Oh."

Stragus, Valeous, Setzer, and Gungho were taken to the TASSLE headquarters where they stayed for about a week answering questions and eating strange cuisine. A final report had to be made in front of the Grand Respectable Administration of Plenty Executive Seniority (GRAPES) the following Tuesday at 4:00, because everyone's favorite kenny shows came on at 3:00.

"…And that's the final report sir," finished Duu.

"Very good," said the Chairman of GRAPES, "and these are the subjects from the planet where the ship was found."

"Yes." Answered Duu, "They were able to operate the high-energy class time ship…"

"Chocobo!" Interrupted Stragus.

"Be Quiet, Stragus!" Yelled Gungho.

"Right," continued Duu, " they were able to save their own world and possible a good portion of Sector 01578 to the plasma life form using the time ship."

"Really?" Said the Chairman, surprised, "Well, let's have this Stragus say a few words."

"Okay," answered Duu. "Come up here, Stragus."

"Huh," Stragus was surprised. Not only was he not paying attention to what was going on, he had completely forgot where he was for that moment. "Oh yeah, I was about to cast a spell when…"

"Stragus!" Yelled Gungho, "Stop, they just want you to say a few words. Oh, and your shoe laces are untied"

Stragus got up and started retying his own shoelaces. This was not taken very well. The guards went immediately after them. After a long chase, Stragus lead the party to the hanger bay.

"How'd you know this was here?" Asked Setzer.

"I got lucky," answered Stragus. In actuality, Stragus got so bored on this trip he read every book in the computer's technical database.

Setzer saw a ship that caught his eye. It was large and very sparkly. "Hey guys, how about we take this one?"

"Let's not," Stragus answered, "It's a Tulip class ship, not very fast. Ah, this is what we need."

Stragus pointed to a small ship, not very spectacular at all. "This is the fastest ship they have."

"Oh," Said everyone else.

They proceeded to enter the ship, and were easily able to get it started. Surprisingly, the ship's computer responded to Stragus as if it knew him personally.

"Stragus," asked Gungho, "How does this ship know you?"

"I don't know," answered Stragus, "Maybe we'll find out one day."

Gungho was not surprised. He should have known to never doubt the power of Jello.

'Twas a day like any other. Stragus was at home trying desperately to find his soupspoon, while explaining to Relm where he was this whole week.

"So," said Relm, "You expect me to believe that you saved the world, in the past, and prevented the eventually destruction of Thamasa and an owl, and helped return 27-finned dolphins to some distant part of the galaxy that we'll never visit?"

"That's about right," answered Stragus looking at the same cupboard he did about 10 minutes earlier. 

"Do you have any proof?" Asked Relm.

"Well," Stragus thought, "We're all still here, aren't we?"

"Uh… Yes…" doubted Relm. "Unfortunately…"

"Do you know where I put that soup spoon?" Asked Stragus.

"You ignoramus!" Exclaimed Relm, "you're holding it in your OTHER hand."

"Oh," remarked Stragus, "now why would you put it where I wouldn't find it?"

"Hmmm… Have we done this before?" Asked Relm.

"Maybe," answered Stragus. "Time has a strange way of repeating itself."


End file.
